by Stephen W. Smith
A light just came on the dashboard of my car. Having never seen this light before, I was forced to take out the car manual and search for what this particular light meant. In my case, this particular light meant: “Take your car immediately to the dealership for repair!” And now –in the pandemic, I’m going to have to get someone to fix my car and quick. I wish I were joking because in these pandemic times, who wants to go anywhere and take the chance of contracting the virus and getting sick?
Pandemic times are lighting up all sorts of inner lights and warning signals we are not use to. The basic light of “Check Engine” on our car’s dashboard use to be enough to do an oil change---something to just get us by for another 5000 miles or so. But now, the pandemic is revealing warning signs that we are not accustomed to.
Low grade depression; feeling blue; lethargy; fatigue, irritability; anger, melancholy, grief and anxiety are the current lights going off in many us now that we are past the initial shock wave of the pandemic. The new wave of the pandemic is going to reveal that our inner world is not fairing well and that any sense of resilience has ebbed out to sea beyond the horizon.
It’s complicated!
It’s more than a viral pandemic happening. We are fighting this “war” now on all fronts by a generation and culture that is not use to fighting anything more than climbing ladders that move up and to the right. Now, all the rungs on our ladders are kaput! At first, the pandemic seemed to inconvenience our lives and routine. Now, the prolonged social isolation, spiritual quarantine and feeling “zoomed out” have all contributed to wordless feelings that are difficult to express other than, “I’m lousy. You’re lousy. It’s OK to be lousy.” Someone should write that book right now!
What does caring for our souls look like in pandemic times? This is the conversation that we need to be having. This is the narrative that awaits us right now. Talking on a soul level will expose some of the lights that surely are coming on for you, just as they are for me. These inner lights are trying to warn us that we just might be in trouble. The soul care principle goes like this: Look at your inner dashboard and see what is flashing—what is needing attention?
The Soul Needs to be Seen
I recently posted a blog about my own inner feelings that were rumbling around the Saturday prior to Easter. I tried to be honest, vulnerable and courageous in my words. Let me just say here, that at that time I was not feeling like Easter was going to happen. It meant so much to be when a friend invited me over to sit in their back yard, six feet apart and said: “Steve, I read what you wrote. What is really going on?” That friend’s question made me feel seen rather than invisible; made me feel known—rather than being isolated and apart and made me feel loved. It was the answer to my own dilemma and I was so moved and touched that I was cared for in this particular way. I felt the heaviness lift and the spiraling come to a halt.
We are in the midst of a Great Pause—a long, extended time of businesses being closed, withdrawing from our social networks and having more time on our hands than perhaps we have ever had—unless we are on a first responder or in the health care field. But these five warning lights are worth our attention.
1. The Warning Light of Emotions
Our emotions are the first responders of our souls. Emotions are the reactions that our souls are having in our inner world that need to be validated. It matters when we feel depressed. It matters when we feel irritable for no apparent reason. Emotions matter and our soul as a plethora of feelings that God placed in us to help us become aware of what is happening inside of us—in that place where everything is connected inside; namely, the place of our soul.
Use the “Feeling Wheel” to help you identify more precisely what you may be actually feeling. It can take some time to identify what you are feeling beyond an elemental feeling of being “blue.” Use this at the end of each day—perhaps at dinner and let each person begin with a “red” feeling and move to a more informed feeling that is actually going on inside:
Using the Daily Examen will help us here more than I can state. Here’s a podcast to help you listen to how to do the Daily Examen: https://www.pottersinn.com/podcast-episode/12
2. While social distanced, remain relationally connected.
In a pandemic time of social distancing and relational isolation, giving attention to a few, key life-giving relationships is vital. We cannot do life alone. We were not created to live in isolation. Sure, this is a season of being apart. But while apart, foster a few significant relationships that do not drain you but sustain you. Talk to them weekly-even for a quick “Check in call for five minutes.”
Dallas Willard told me that the only church that Jesus ever talked about or referred to is the church of “Two to three people.” Jesus clearly stated, “Wherever two or three are gathered, there I am in the midst.” The pandemic is a time for us to re-examine the very words of Jesus and to go deeper with a few rather than wide with many. We were made for intimacy and in intimacy with a few we find the connection that our souls long for. This is not the time for huge. This is not the time for being with the many. We are in a different ecclesiastical season (see Ecc. 3:1). Wise is the person who knows the seasons and lives and adjust accordingly!
Look at connecting with a few in the pandemic as vital as you do prayer—as necessary as your time alone with Scripture. To foster resilience means to build bridges or even digging tunnels below the water line, to truly find each other. By digging deeper with one another, we will fulfill the law of Christ. By doing this, “Bear one another’s burdens, and in do doing you fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2). The Message urges us to “Be creative” in how we do this. What does it look like for you to be creative with two or three life giving friends? Have a time together weekly? Just yesterday friends of ours invited us over for a meal delivered by Uber Eats. We sat in their driveway and our food was more than food. It was time together that we devoured.
I think it begins with sitting down and writing the names of two or three people that are your micro-church. Tell them that you are planting a “micro-church” and you want to live out your life—right now with them in these pandemic times; not alone but along side of them.
The wisest of human beings once wrote these words:
“It’s better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there’s no one to help, tough!Two in a bed warm each other.
Alone, you shiver all night.” (Ecc. 4:9-11 The Message)
While churches are trying to worship on Zoom and Face time, and I applaud all these efforts, we need the incarnational presence of another human being. It was to the doubting Thomas that Jesus invited to go beyond social distancing and touch him—feel him—know for sure that it is Christ in your midst. What’s missing these days is the touch of our souls: we will need to be creative to explore how we find this as the pandemic continues to unravel the world we once knew and we lean forward into our whole, new world ahead.
3. Do something physical every single day.
As we know, this one is a choice that we have every day to do: Move! Move the body every day. When you play music, move! When you work: stand up at the computer. When you zoom, take an extended time afterwards to reconnect with your body to help you not feel so “zoomed out.”
Walk, ride, stretch, run, play and be outdoors. The sedentary soul is a sad soul—we know this from all the research available to us. So, the antidote is to move. Endorphins are released within us which is the bodies very own anti-depressant, which is God made and God endorsed. Make the choice to move your soul as much as you can.
At a conference with Christian psychiatrist Dr. Curt Thompson, Curt had the 200 people present stand up as he played a beautiful piece of music for all to hear. While listening, he coached us all to simply raise our hands towards heaven and stretch. He then explained the science of how that simple movement released molecules of endorphins into our blood that woke us up; made us feel a moment of bliss—then we returned to our chairs to learn more about the soul and the body working together in sync. We need these experiences. Our souls are not spirits detached from us. Our bodies house our very soul—the true temple, not in Jerusalem dear friends, but in us, right here and right now.
With all the loss—we are gaining!
Gwen and I are joking about gaining the “COVID-19 Pounds” now due to the comfort food we are partaking. With all the loss, we are gaining! So, the antidote is finding comfort, not in our food but in our souls and to foster a sense of inner shalom. Look again at the “Feeling Wheel” above for the feeling of “peacefulness” and see the wonderful feelings that are described there which are all feelings of well-being.
Read Dr. Curt Thompson’s excellent article on why we feel so “bad” after long and extended calls or zoom meetings. Click Link here: https://curtthompsonmd.com/a-body-of-work/
4. Every Soul Needs “Self-Compassion.”
When we are other focused; when we are managers of our home, children, work, taking care of aging parents and other responsibilities; when we are always giving “out,” we can ignore giving compassion to our own self. It is never selfish to care for one’s own soul! It is only when we are full of care that we can truly care for others. An empty cup has nothing to give. We cannot live well while running on empty. In pandemic times, it is no doubt challenging to figure this one out. Yet it is vital. Be creative in your homes by “negotiating “ time that you need and how a partner can help you; then have their time without shame or guilt.
5. Anchor yourself in the witness and stories of others who endured hard times.
We are not the first to go through something like this pandemic. History is filled with the perils and stories of endurance. What books, stories, movies can you share in the comments below that inspire you? What characters in the Scriptures have become mentors to you in this pandemic time to help you learn from their own stories? Joseph endured prison when falsely accused. Moses persevered in wilderness after lived a lavish life for years. Prophets lived isolated lives and Jesus himself was “thoroughly acquainted with sorrow and grief.” By using their examples, we can find inspiration in difficult times.
Pandemic times require the reformation of how we do life, church, work, and soul care. By taking simple steps now to care for our souls, we can allow the ripple effect of our own inner resilience begin to flow from a healthy place to bring about the change we have been hoping for and praying for in these pandemic times.
